I sit here, trying to focus on Derivatives of Logarithmic Functions, when it dawns on me: Valentine's Day is Monday. And not only is it Valentine's Day, but it's Donnie's birthday. This (from my last blog post) I already new.
What I did not consider is Donnie's extreme desire to be married/engaged by the end of the year. He's going to propose on Valentines Day. OMIGOD! Why did I never consider this before? Oh yes, because I refused to let him buy me anything ever for V-day bc it was his birthday. I know that skanky bitch won't sacrifice the ONE girl's holiday for his birthday. Holy Shit!
Ordinarily, I wouldn't think that, right? But it would be just like him to propose to her. How awful. Then I wouldn't be right about them, then would I? What if it actually happens? What if he really plans on marrying her? Are you fucking kidding me? But it's entirely possible. He's impulsive, and he wants so badly to have that happily ever after with her- ya know, bc I wasn't good enough... UGH and it's 2am, so no one is awake to talk me down out of this tizzy I have gotten myself into. So help me God if he proposes to her, I will go ballistic. Seriously- Jerica Peters? He has to know how stupid that would be, right? Oh, he must not... otherwise, he wouldn't keep going back to her.
Ok, so even right now, taking a step back & looking at the situation: I know that he is not good enough for me. I know this, right? Yes. MOM said so- over 8 years ago, she said it. And of course, she was right. Therefore, I don't need to care about him. Or care about whether or not he's going to propose to the slut in 4 days. So why do I care? Oh, wait- its because I love him & can't make that go away. Yes I can. I will. but what if he proposes?
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